The Present—for survivors of abuse and loneliness
I ponder, lonely as a cloud,
alone amidst a grey-black sky.
My heart feels wrapped in widows shroud,
deepest sorrow like when doves cry.
True promises a passing rainbow vowed
but my shattered soul did love deny.
“I’m so lonely”, I scream out loud,
a piercing scream, “why, WHY!”
“I’ll never give up!”, I always vowed,
but she wouldn’t love me no matter what I’d try.
“It’s all my fault”, I said with head bowed,
not knowing the relationship was awry.
No emotion was I allowed,
I built a wall around my heart to dignify.
When bullets through my emotions ploughed,
I’d cry inside, but on the surface mummify.
What do you do when in sadness you’re bowed?
Kill the noise and rectify?
I wrote this poem to talk about that feeling of loneliness – a topic that is close to my heart. I’ve known it, and it’s a destroyer. I’m so glad that I got over it, but many don’t.
If you’ve ever been to that deepest, darkest place of nothingness, where you feel like you have absolutely nobody and nothing, you’ll know what I mean. It’s the most desperate and hopeless place that drives a person to depression, insanity or even suicide.
An alarming 42% of people between 16-24 years of age struggle with loneliness, according to a worldwide survey by the BBC.
There is no stereotype when it comes to what a lonely person looks like. Literally, just about anyone of any age or gender could be lonely and for so many different reasons like rejection, loss, low self-esteem, feeling like you don’t fit in, lack of confidence, isolation, being physically challenged in some way, divorce, neglect, sickness and death. Often the root cause of loneliness is also because of humans hurting other humans.
If you are struggling with loneliness, I want you to know that you are not alone and nothing is as hopeless as it seems.