The journey to find love, or more accurately, to find the One who embodies love and who Himself is love, is a journey we all need to embark on – the sooner, the better.

In this process we get a better understanding of our true identity. In finding the One who is love, we find ourselves. Knowing whose we are, is the beginning of knowing who we really are.

I have heard that we are made with a place in us, or a longing in our hearts that cannot be filled by any person or thing.

This letter is about my journey to find this One Love that is superior to all other loves and is the only One able to fill the longing in our hearts.

For a long time, I thought that I knew this higher Love, until I embarked on a relationship with Him and quickly realized, I mostly knew of Him.


(Part I)

I have heard and read stories about You – past down from long ago.

Tales of the “One” true love that is superior and like none other.

I thought I had found it, when I fell in earthly love.

But knew that was not it when I fell out of it again.

I have heard that there is a place in my heart that can only be filled by You.

So, I set out to find You, the One whose love alone can fill and satisfy me.

Not a love that I fall into – but instead, a love that is poured out into me.

One that spreads like a wildfire until it consumes every part of me.

Are You even real or just a fable written in a book?

How do I find You? Must I prepare and where do I begin to look?

With hope and great suspense, I start on my journey to encounter You.

I searched hills and valleys, walked through streams and meadows, to find You.

Where are You?

I scouted mountains and plains, hiked in forests and around lakes, to find You.

Where are You?

Through the highs and lows, through laughter and tears, I still search for You.

Where are You?

Like an eagle soaring the skies, so I comb the countryside chasing after You.

With dove’s eyes, I focus on pursuing only You. I need to find You.

I want to see Your face and hear You speak my name. Reveal to me the mystery of You.

Draw close to me and wrap me in the beauty of Your presence.

Intoxicate me with Your love and the knowledge of You.

Will You meet me in the garden and walk with me in the evening shade?

I am tired and weary. I have trodden afar and still You elude me.

Shine through this fog of uncertainty.

Cut through the lies and insecurity.

Silence the voices that say You do not exist.

Quieten those who believe You are only a myth.

Let me not be disappointed.

Let them be proven wrong, who say You are a figment of my imagination.

I believe You are real, my Love.

The ache in my heart proves it. The desire in my spirit is evidence of it.

The space in my soul will not be deprived of it.

How long, before You come and make Yourself known to me?

The path has been long and treacherous.

How long must I wait for You, my Love?

I thought that was You around the last corner.

The familiarity and peace, the feeling of home – they misled me.

That was just a shadow of You. It was the weariness talking.

Trying to confuse and distract me.

Trying to convince me to stop my search for You.

But my quest goes on until You let Yourself be found.

I do not seek the ordinary or the superficial things of this world.

Neither do I seek surface-deep lip service nor flattery.

What I desire, only You can give, my Love.

I seek the extraordinary – clean and pure, real and true, unchangeable and undeniable.

I pursue that which is not fully conceivable with the mind.

Only understood in the depths of the heart.

It goes beyond what the natural senses could ever perceive.

I desire You – Your unconditional love – Your love for me.

It is getting dark and still I don’t see You. Where are You?

My aching feet say stop. My knowing heart trots on.

I will search a lifetime for You, my Love.

Cross the oceans and search in distant lands.

Go to the ends of the earth to find You.

Until I am old and grey. Until the end of my days.

My heart waits only for You.

Angella Marie