When I tried to figure it out all I got was a splitting headache . . .
Until I entered the sanctuary of God.
Then I saw the whole picture:
The slippery road you’ve put them on, with a final crash in a ditch of delusions.
In the blink of an eye, disaster!
A blind curve in the dark, and – nightmare!
I wake up and rub my eyes. . . Nothing.
There’s nothing to them.
And there never was.

psalm 73, the bible

It’s taken me 20 years to figure it out. 

What does it mean – really mean to walk with the creator?

They would talk about it from time to time. I would sense the intensity of emotions in every word that exited their mouth. The intensity of tiny drops of saliva hurtling onto bodies – some wide eyed, some snickering and some switched off.

Maybe it’s taken me longer. 30 years even? Eyeroll.

David, Moses, Paul. They knew this well. Walking and talking with the Creator. The most ingenious person this world will ever know. David wrote Psalms like an addict would write about a drug. It makes no sense but then again it makes all sorts of sense. The paradox + the irony of it!

It’s like saying: I don’t care that I’m starving to death but I want you God. I must have you. I need to have you in my life … and nothing else matters.

I finally found it.

That bulb got turned on. 

Sing praises.